


Tide Pods 2: Electric Boogaloo

by christopherpike, detectivephelps (miacolt)



Category: L.A. Noire
Genre: Crack, yes this is an actual sequel to that other fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-17
Updated: 2019-10-17
Packaged: 2020-12-21 02:31:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21067316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/christopherpike/pseuds/christopherpike, https://archiveofourown.org/users/miacolt/pseuds/detectivephelps
Summary: You thought you were safe, but were you ever really?





	Tide Pods 2: Electric Boogaloo

It was a bright, sunny day in Loss.jpeg Angeles. The birds were singing a merry tune, couples strolled the street, and a certain pierogi named Stefan stared out the window yearningly.

You see, Stefan had a dream. A very odd dream, but a dream nonetheless. That dream… was to become a rapper on Soundcloud. 

Now, he knew nobody would support his dreams because rap nor Soundcloud even existed yet, but that didn't stop him from wanting to pursue it. So, one day, he stood up from his desk and proudly announced what had been on his mind. "I'm leaving the LAPD to become a rapper. The next Kanye, if you will. I hope you all will support me in my future endeavors."

Minutes passed as he continued to stand there in the most powerful stance he could muster (a.k.a. the one that best showed off his magnificent shoulders), but all he got was wide eyed stares and whispers. Stefan's face hurt from smiling. He persevered.

Leary spoke up first. "Who the fuck is Kanye?"

His father figure's words were simple, concise even, but they felt like a bullet to Stefan's very broad and sexy chest. He knew this would happen– he knew no one would understand his dreamy dreams of being Yung Pierogi, the first Polish Soundcloud rapper (don't fact check that). "No, dad!" he cried, startling Leary and several others with his sudden outburst. "I'm giving up on _your _dream!"

"What are you talking about? I don't even know what rap is," Leary calmly replied, but it was too late. The damage had already been done. They would never come back from this devastating blow to their father-son relationship. Never again would they play catch in the park or go out for ice cream to celebrate Stefan taking credit for Cole solving a case. 

Stefan stormed out of the room in hot, angry tears, never to be seen or heard from again. Some say he's still out there, rapping about kielbasa to anybody who will listen. Others say he was found in a ditch two streets down from the station. Roy died and couldn't contribute to the rumours, but Cole, being alive simply because the plot had him in Traffic, said the following about his dear friend:

"Can I be promoted to homicide now?"

**Author's Note:**

> this was inspired in part by learning that sean mcgowan apparently raps. godspeed you funky lil redhead godspeed...


End file.
